by Tod Goldberg, Marty Beckerman, Paul Davidson, Duane Swierczynski, Jade Walker, Adam Finley, Joe Lavin, Brian Lewandowski, and Bob Sassone
***Mel Gibson Saved My Life
by Paul Davidson
A bomb. In my home. Red wire or blue wire? Thank God I saw Lethal Weapon. It’s always the blue.
Paul Davidson is the author The Lost Blogs.
*** Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Friend
by Marty Beckerman
The house burned.
His son upstairs.
His teddy bear…
In the basement.
The bear survived.
Not his child.
Marty Beckerman is the author of Generation S.L.U.T.
by Tod Goldberg
Lucy figured it all went wrong when she stopped taking her medication. Naturally, the prior cannibalism charge didn’t help things.
Tod Goldberg is the author of Simplify.
*** A TV Family’s Mob Ties
by Jade Walker
The Butcher didn’t take the breakup well.
He sent Bobby’s ear to Alice.
The Bradys are now in witness protection.
Jade Walker is an overnight editor/producer at The Associated Press and the obiturist behind The Blog of Death. She also runs the NYC Writer’s Group and Eccentric Employment.
*** Untitled Hardboiled Pulp No. 7
by Duane Swierczynski
After all these years, grandma still had a face that could take a punch.
Duane Swierczynski is the author of The Wheelman (St. Martin’s Press) as well as The Blonde, out this November. He’s also the editor-in-chief of the Philadelphia City Paper, and wants those lousy kids off his lawn, goddamnit. Got a problem with that? Take it up here.
by Joe Lavin
No more blackjack, snarled the suited thug. Card counting, he accused. Little did he know that it was actually ESP.
Joe Lavin is much wordier at joelavin.com.
*** A Parable For The Age
by Adam Finley
He imagined a child, gigantic and oozing slime. That’s when the giraffe decided not to have sex with that snail.
Adam Finley is President of the United States.
*** Clever, Witty Title
by Brian Lewandowski
Went to MySpace to find a young chick. Uh oh. FBI guy. Now my space belongs to my cellmate Rocko.
Brian Lewandowski wants you to know he would never use MySpace for this. He’s an old school Friendster guy.
*** Last Minute
by Bob Sassone
The editor asked writers for short stories. Twenty words. But he waited too long and couldn’t think of one himself.
Bob Sassone needs a girlfriend.