by Paul Davidson
It’s true. Leo hates popsicles.
Don’t ask me how I know or why I know but I will tell you that he hates (most specifically) the lemon ones, the lime ones and the strawberry ones. He’s partial to the coconut ones that have real fruit that you can buy at Whole Foods. But most of the other ones he cann’t be bothered with. People have reported seeing Leo in the frozen food section of certain L.A.-based supermarket chains going through the popsicle selection and moving boxes behind the frozen peas. He is like a one man popsicle-removal service.
Then there’s Benjamin Bratt. The guy is extremely afraid of rice pudding. I once heard a story from a very close source who remembered being at an end-of-year party for Law & Order when he was on the show. There was, at a dessert station, a big vat of rice pudding. Benjamin, who at that point had Julia Roberts on his arm, turned and spotted someone scooping the white-matter into a cup. Benjamin did a quick turn around, covering his ballooning mouth and made quick for the dance floor. While “I Fought The Law and the Law Won” played over the speakers, Julia consoled him as he took a deep breath.
While we’re at it, there’s no reason to leave James Woods out of the mix. Mr. Woods and I shared an elevator one day in a studio’s space and I was fascinated to hear Mr. Woods ask me to put away my banana. “Would you mind putting that banana back in your bag and zipping up your bag and leaving it there until I get off at the sixth floor?” he asked. I did so, and watched as he made sure that the yellow staff was no longer near him at all. As soon as it was gone, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Celebrities on the whole are afraid of many things, and I have catalogued a list of some of the most obscure and they are as follows:
Catherine Zeta-Jones: grapes
Brad Pitt: blocks of cheddar cheese
Rip Torn: dogs that are missing full sections of teeth
Julia Stiles: hair extensions
Mary Tyler Moore: flesh-colored stockings
James Remar: fake plastic guns
David Schwimmer: unsalted peanuts
Lauren Ambrose: used straws
Anthony Michael Hall: opaque dinner glasses
Melanie Griffith: marachino cherries
Tom Hanks: the sound of a slurpee straw screeching against a plastic slurpee cup top
Guy Ritchie: rubberbands
Henry Winkler: Tilt-a-Whirl
Bonnie Hunt: fortune cookies
Edward Norton: valet parking
Mary Kate Olsen: lanyard making
Ashley Olson: velcro
Ed O’Neil: shaved toy-breed puppies
Ashley Judd: scented magic markers
Hilary Duff: black umbrellas, black cats and blackouts
You see, Celebrities are just like you and me with our obsessive-compulsive disorders.