So, I guess the first question is, why do you have such a potty mouth?
Actually, no kidding, my father used to play the “Curse Word Alphabet” game with me — that’s when I was like, ten or eleven. We’d go though every letter and try to find a curse word, or at least an offensive word.
That explains a lot. So what word did you come up with for “Z”?
Z…. Zzzzzzzz…… Zany ped0phile piece of shit!
How did the idea for Generation S.L.U.T come about?
When I left for college 3,000 miles away from home I really felt alone — no friends, I hated my classes, I was just really angsty — and I saw that instead of escaping the superficiality and idiocy of high school, I was more surrounded by it than ever. And then I went home four months later, and all my friends had turned into drug addicts, anorexics, self-mutilators, cutters, alcoholics and whores. It was bizarre — in less than half a year, everyone I knew had been replaced by alien pod people or something. So it was a really dark time for me personally, and “S.L.U.T.” was just an attempt to put what happened into words. The more I researched the book, the more I realized that those kinds of behaviors are far from abnormal, but for the first time in history they’re becoming the norm amongst 12- and 13-year-olds.
So Wolfe was right when he said “you can’t go home again?”
Absolutely. I’m 21 years old and it’s already nostalgia when I spend time with friends from high school. It’s just fulfilling our roles instead of anything new. Hard to explain. I’ll keep drinking and maybe I’ll figure it out eventually.
What’s the biggest complaint/criticism you’re getting so far?
That I’m an egomaniacal mysognistic sexist patriarchical classist racist hateful tool of the white heterosexual patriarchy which represses women, minorities, gays and dolphins all over the world. Or something. I’m not really sure, but that seems to be pretty close.
What did you think of your interview in Salon?
You know, I reacted too passionately when I wrote the response letter. It was too much to question the reporter’s credibility, because she didn’t misquote me — but I do feel that my quotes were cherry-picked to make me look more like an asshole than necessary. For example, I spent maybe 10 minutes talking about feminism, and how a lot of good things like voting rights, property rights and careerism came out of the movement. And then I criticized the aspect of the revolution that defined sexual liberation as “liberation from monogamy,” with no emotional commitments whatsoever. But in the final article, only my negative comments are included, so it looks like I’m totally anti-woman. Which isn’t true at all — girls are great, so long as they’re sucking my dick. Especially if they do that nasty thing where they slide their fingers up your…. um…. never mind.
In your response letter, you mention that you don’t try to be a spokesman for your generation, but you have actually said many times that you are, to me and in articles and on your site even in the blurb for your book, right?
As a joke. I can speak my opinions about a generation — as much as you can generalize millions of people, which is difficult. But there are trends to be debated and judged. But to say I speak FOR all those millions? That would just be total arrogance. Which is why I humbly submit that I speak for millions of people.
It seems to me that Generation S.L.U.T. might be your swan song as far as talking about teenage life is concerned. Sort of a “greatest hits” of your teen writing and now you’re going on to other things. Is that pretty accurate?
Absolutely. It’s been three years since high school, and I don’t want to wind up like Blink-182, singing about my prom when I’m 32. I’m not sure everyone will like the direction I’m going in after “S.L.U.T.”, but they’ll always have the memories. Of my cock. And my cock will always have the memories. Of my anus.
What are you working on now?
Dodging rhetorical bullets from both sides of the political aisle isn’t enough, so I’ve decided to dodge actual bullets in the worst shitholes on earth. Specifically, my next project “Jewboy Goes to Hell: Young America and WWIII” will be a P.J. O’Rourke style journey to Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, etc., to figure out how the War on Terror will ultimately affect my generation. Obviously 60,000 kids haven’t died — the death toll for the Iraq War doesn’t even top the single-day death tolls in Vietnam — but I feel it’s going to distort the culture in far subtler ways that will affect everyone at the individual level.
What’s more important, sex, drugs, or rock ‘n roll?
Rock ‘n’ roll is bitchin. But only if you’re having sex on drugs. With your favorite sampling of livestock.